Posts tagged ‘fear’

October 6, 2010

Self-Sabotage

by Dandy

Do you find yourself being sabotaged?  Are you doing it to yourself and don’t know why?  Self-sabotage comes from fear and doubt.  We can be on the right path for a long while then distrust in ourselves creeps in.  We lose track.  I have sabotaged myself in so many ways.  For instance I’ve had jobs in the past where things are going well – I’m getting praise and positive feedback.  Then I started showing up late for work and calling in sick frequently.  The result of course was being fired.  On one occasion I didn’t want the job, but didn’t have the maturity to find other work, then give notice of leave.  The other occasion the job was turning out so well that I was afraid people’s expectations would be more than I could handle.  Also I was earning a good wage and I felt unworthy of it.  So again my old routine of going to work late, calling in sick, and just not showing up.  I was let go of my position, rightfully.  I did it to myself.  No one was to blame but me.

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October 1, 2010

The fear of starting something new

by Dandy

Since I just started this blog, I felt that a very appropriate post would be getting past fear.  Focusing on starting new things.  It’s exactly what I’m going through right now.  So many ‘what ifs’ are invading my thoughts…what if I offend someone, what if no one likes my blog, what if I can’t find the time to post regularly, what if I regret writing a blog in the first place.  Oh, it goes on and on.

I always thought of fear as something I need to make go away in order to conquer it.  But that is a false assumption.  The truth is I need to do something with the fear I have.  Give it a job so to speak.  First, I wrote down precisely what I was afraid of concerning starting a blog.  I was afraid no one would find it in the huge universe of blogs.  I was afraid I wouldn’t have the time I would need to dedicate to it.  I was worried I’d get writers block.  Writing down all my fears gave me clarity.  It broke it down into smaller, less fearsome pieces.

Secondly, I shifted my focus.  If I was to worry about my blog not being found, or fearful that no one would like me then my focus would only be on that.  I would fixate on that instead of the blog itself.  So I asked myself what I wanted to achieve.  I summoned up a vision of a blog that was well written and appreciated by those who chose to read it.  I pictured myself enjoying the camaraderie it would bring me. 

Finally I took action.  I sought answers to my questions.  I laid my fears out on the table.  I talked about my desire to write a blog with my loved ones and told them of the time I would need.  I wanted to get out all my fears, so that I wouldn’t carry it with me.  I counteracted my fears with action, and really I can’t imagine a situation worsening by opening up.  I believe that if one is honest about their feelings there will be reward somewhere.

Fear will never go away.  It is in our biology, but it can be dispersed.  What new thing have you been wanting to try?  What specifically of that are you afraid of?  Envision yourself successfull…what does it look like?  Is it worth it?

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