Self-Sabotage

by Dandy

Do you find yourself being sabotaged?  Are you doing it to yourself and don’t know why?  Self-sabotage comes from fear and doubt.  We can be on the right path for a long while then distrust in ourselves creeps in.  We lose track.  I have sabotaged myself in so many ways.  For instance I’ve had jobs in the past where things are going well – I’m getting praise and positive feedback.  Then I started showing up late for work and calling in sick frequently.  The result of course was being fired.  On one occasion I didn’t want the job, but didn’t have the maturity to find other work, then give notice of leave.  The other occasion the job was turning out so well that I was afraid people’s expectations would be more than I could handle.  Also I was earning a good wage and I felt unworthy of it.  So again my old routine of going to work late, calling in sick, and just not showing up.  I was let go of my position, rightfully.  I did it to myself.  No one was to blame but me.

Excuses are another form of self-sabotage.  We blame the conditions of our lives for not living up to our potential….I don’t have the time to exercise which is why I can’t lose weight.  I can’t travel abroad because my boyfriend doesn’t want me to.  I won’t go after the promotion, because I don’t have the right education for it.  Have you ever said anything like this to yourself?

Also a fear of disapproval from others is one of the greatest forms of self-sabotage….Others will think I’m lazy and don’t want to work if I quit my job to stay at home with my children.  Others will think I’ve lost my mind if I fill in the blank.  If you find yourself in this situation, a tremendously helpful thing would be to find or even create a group of like-minded people who can relate to your station in life.

Many problems that people have are self-induced and they don’t even realize it.  To fight this, it takes a higher level of conscious awareness.  It also takes trust.  Trust yourself to accomplish your goals.  Rid yourself of the beliefs that hold you back and fail to support your goals.  Create your own human resources with  people who are supportive and encouraging.  They are out there!

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20 Responses to “Self-Sabotage”

  1. “O” what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger. It takes a while to understand that what other people thinks of you doesn’t mount to a hill of beens, only what you think of yourself. Do no harm to others but most of all do no harm to yourself. When I have seen how you have grown thought out the years and what you have become I can’t keep the buttons on my shirt. In all the world Dandy you are my rock(^^)

  2. Hi! Self-sabotage is very destructive. We often don’t notice when we are doing it. When we start paying attention to our self-talk, we become aware that we have way more negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves than we realized. This awareness is of great value to change our beliefs.

    Thanks for your insights! Loving blessings!

    • Hi Andrea, Thanks so much for the comment. You’re right, we do have alot more negative thoughts than we realize. Having awareness of self means to stop & switch those negative thought patterns. Thanks for checking out my blog!!

      Cheers, Dandy

  3. I swear, we’re like the same person. I’ve done the exact same thing at jobs and it’s awful!

  4. Hi Dandy!

    Nice post on self-sabotage.

    The thing about self-sabotage is that it can happen without us even realizing it because it is such a deeply ingrained habit. It is part of how we see ourselves and the world. But unless we take responsibility for our lives and actions, we cannot hope to turn things around.

    We can’t please everyone and at the end of the day, what really matters is that we are living a life we want to live. I like how you suggest forming a support group to make sure you stay on the right track. That helps matters a lot. Thanks for sharing!

  5. Hi Dandy!

    Nice post on self-sabotage.

    The thing about self-sabotage is that it can happen without us even realizing it because it is such a deeply ingrained habit. It is part of how we see ourselves and the world. But unless we take responsibility for our lives and actions, we cannot hope to turn things around.

    We can’t please everyone and at the end of the day, what really matters is that we are living a life we want to live. I like how you suggest forming a support group to make sure you stay on the right track. That helps matters a lot. Thanks for sharing!

    • Thanks so much for commenting on my post. You are absolutley right, self-sabotage is deeply ingrained and it does affect everything in our lives. It affects our careers, relationships, our feelings toward money, oh it goes on and on. Personal responsibility & self-awarness is what can turn it around, and being around people who are positive & supportive really help. Thanks again for the insightfull comment!!
      Dandy

  6. Hi Dandy
    Fear and self doubt, excuses, fear of disapproval – I thought that was the human condition. LOL

    Can’t deny any of this, I’m guilty as charged but I guess that being aware of the self sabatage is the first step.

    Thanks for helping with that first step

    • Hi Keith, thanks so much for checking out my blog. You are so right, it a part of the human condition. In that sense at least we are not alone 🙂 Awareness really is the first step. Then it’s getting into a habit. It’s not easy, but the things that enrich our lives often aren’t. It’s totally worth it though!!! Take Care.
      Dandy

  7. hello dandy,
    how are you?
    you’ve got a lovely blog and i found it through the comment you left on dias blog.
    it’s important to note the fear of disapproval from others could lead to anxiety, mild depression, low self esteem issues……
    but as you’ve rightly mentioned constructive thoughts(rid yourself of the beliefs…) and embracing friends, family and people who are there to support you physically, mentally, emotionally all constitute to ways of dealing with self sabotage.
    take care and enjoy the rest of the day.

    • Hi there,
      Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment. I really appreciate you checking out my blog. You are absolutley right, fear of disapproval from others leads to so much self-esteem issues. It holds you back from living a full life. I myself have learned that the hard way. I’ve spent too many years choosing to stay stuck rather than face even so much as the possibility of disapproval. Fortuanatley I realized I would rather face the fear than life a half lived life. I have no regrets!! Thanks again for your insight!!

      Best Regards, Dandy

  8. Hi Dandy,

    Very nice post! Self-sabotage is harmful and seeking other people’s approval is one of the worst things we can do to ourselves. We have to realize that no matter what we do, there are going to people that don’t like what we do, so might as well, focus on what we want and stop sabotaging ourselves. Thanks for sharing

  9. Hi Dandy,
    Lovely blog! 😉

    You made some great points in this article. You are right, a lot of times we bring things on ourselves. Then we wonder why and what happened.

    I think people judge me because I resigned from my job to be home with my daughter. Sometimes I am bothered by what people say and think(sometimes a little fearful of the unknown), but I am learning to not worry about it, because I know within my heart that I am doing the right thing for my family.

    Very interesting post and I’m happy that you are blogging. I look forward to reading future articles from you.

    Take care,

    Evelyn

    • Hi Evelyn, thanks so much for checking out my blog. Self-sabotage is a vast topic. One could write forever on it. It sounds like you made a great decission for your daughter. At the end of the day it is about what is good for her, not what people think. I really apprecitate your commenting!!

      Best Wishes, Dandy

  10. Self sabotage seems like this months blog topic, i just did one last night. Good writing, cheers.

  11. Evelyn, You are such a doll for putting a link on your website to my post on self-sabotage!! Wow, I really appreciate it and it means alot to me. You are fantastic. Your support pumps me up:) Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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