How to express yourself to others?

by Dandy

Hi Everyone! Today I would like to introduce you to the amazing Dia Thabet. He owns and writes the blog www.2achieveyourgoals.com He is a personal growth coach and consultant. Dia has written The Ultimate Guide to Achieving Your Goals and How to Win Your Lovers Heart. Please check out his blog to see his work and to inquire about his books. Dia gives practical, thoughtful, and compassionate advice to anyone who needs it. His articles are some of the finest you’ll read.

How to express yourself to others?

Do you know how to express your emotions? How to express yourself to others?

Often people say to others “talk so I get to know you” or “express yourself” You might want to express your love to someone in your life like your parents, children, or partner, but don’t know how.

Jennifer mentions that she wishes to express her love to her mother, but whenever she goes to talk to her, she finds that she can’t express her emotions.

Kelly also just like Jennifer, despite her love for her husband, she feels that doesn’t give him what he deserves and doesn’t express her love for him.

Are you like Jennifer and Kelly? Can you express your emotions to the people you love or you can’t?

To learn how to express yourself to others, then follow the quick guide below:

1. Focus on others

Instead of focusing on your emotions, start focusing on the message that you want to give to the other person. Often people focus on themselves and in the process, miss-communicate the message that they want to express.

2. Use simple language

When you express yourself, use simple words. If you try to use complicated statements, then the other individual might misunderstand what you are trying to say. Also, don’t forget that simple words get to people’s hearts easier and faster, so it is always better to express yourself using simple language.

3. Choose the right time

When you want to express yourself and how you feel, make sure you choose the right time. For example, if you want to express your love for your partner, make sure your partner is in a good mood and mentally and physically relaxed. If you choose the wrong timing like when your partner is tired, then your mate might not respond the way you want him to respond.

4. Use your body language

Use your body language to express what you want to say. Your words have to compliment your body language. For instance, to express your love to your partner when the features of your face show anger doesn’t help. Your facial expressions and body gestures should match what you are trying to express.

5. Show affection

When you want to express yourself, you should show affection. When you show love and affection, others will be more likely to appreciate what you have to say.

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Posted on February 21, 2011 at 6:00 am in Relationships | RSS feed | Respond | Trackback URL

40 Comments to “How to express yourself to others?”

Dandy
February 21, 2011 at 9:06 am

Hi Dia,
Well done. Your wisdom here is very practical and usefull. It’s important to always focus on others, ask them questions about themselves, take a genuine interest in their lives. I loved what you had to say about body language too. There is alot of truth to this. We can put others at ease with this; therefore, making it easier to express ourselves. Thanks so much for writing for my blog Dia! I really appreciate it!

Dandy

Reply
- Dia
  February 21, 2011 at 4:39 pm
  
  Hi Dandy,
  
  Thank you a lot my friend for this opportunity. Exactly Dandy when we focus on others and our message, we won’t get distracted with other “non important” things. It helps to have focus on others. Thanks again Dandy
  
  Reply
The Vizier
February 21, 2011 at 9:47 am

Hi Dia,

Being able to communicate and express ourselves well is vital to having healthy relationships in our lives. People are not mind readers and cannot know exactly what we think or feel if we don’t express ourselves. Even our loved ones are no exceptions. Any lack of clarity in self-expression can easily lead to needless problems and misunderstandings, so I am glad that you share 5 ways to express ourselves better. Here are some of my thoughts on them.

1. Focus on others

I agree with you here. Instead of focusing on how we feel or how we would look if we were to show vulnerability, it is better to focus on getting the message across. One of the reasons we hold back is fear of rejection or ridicule. We are afraid our loved ones would not accept or understand our display of vulnerability. By saying what we keep bottled up inside, we let go of a huge weight that we carry around on our backs.

2. Use simple language

Keeping it simple enough and to the point is indeed better in getting our message across. But in the process of keeping things simple, we should not omit parts of the message. It is best to say all we need to say in simple words that are easy to understand and leave no room for miscommunication.

3. Choose the right time

Timing is everything. If we get the time right, we can reap double the benefits. But if we get the time wrong, we can easily waste our efforts. Sometimes there is no right time and we have to make the effort to create such a time by setting the tone and mood.

Thank you for writing this lovely article Dia and thank you Dandy for sharing it.

Irving the Vizier

Reply
- Dia
  February 21, 2011 at 4:41 pm
  
  Thanks Irving, glad you enjoyed it dear Thank you for the elaboration as well
  
  Reply
Frank
February 21, 2011 at 11:07 am

Hi Dandy and Dia,

Dia,

You never cease to amaze me with your practical tips and efficient knowledge of various circumstances. These tips are right on time for me. I am a firm believer in the power of body language. When we communicate it goes much farther beyond what we say. True expression comes from emotion and emotion to me is best displayed by our actions. If I want to learn how to truly express myself I have to learn to make it a full body experience. Great Post!

Reply
- Dia
  February 21, 2011 at 4:43 pm
  
  Hi Frank,
  
  Exactly my friend, body language plays an important part in expression. Many times people say something, yet their body language says something else. It is crucial to learn to match our message with our body language. Thanks Frank
  
  Reply
Little Lessons Under the Big Sky
February 21, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Hi Dia and Dandy,
Wow, great collaboration here! I enjoyed reading this article.
Number one is something that is so very important, yet not talked about very often….thank you so much.
Body language, too, is important. We are challenged in this day and age with that, aren’t we? The internet, texting and voice mail are not places to try to express emotions to say, your spouse, because of the lack of body language.
Making time for face to face friendships as often as possible seems like a good solution.

Thank you for the wonderful post!
Jen

Reply
- Dia
  February 21, 2011 at 4:45 pm
  
  Hi Jen,
  
  Exactly focusing on others is necessary as well as body language. Face to face expression is the best in my opinion as we get to see the other person’s reactions and facial expression. Glad you liked it Jen
  
  Reply
Bryan Thompson
February 21, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Dia, great post, buddy! I like how you started with “focus on others.” A crucial part of the ball of conversation. Expressing ourselves is very different when we remove the focus from our own needs and wants and find a way to include the other person and give them ownership in the situation. This is relational leadership.

Reply
- Dia
  February 21, 2011 at 4:48 pm
  
  Hi Bryan,
  
  Exactly my friend, we we focus on our message and others, we won’t have to focus on ourselves and this fact helps us to express ourselves. Thanks Bryan
  
  Reply
Juanita
February 21, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Dia – lovely post and so very thoughtful!

I think that point 3 is so critical (Choose the right time). If your timing is off it can mean the difference between success or not so successful communication Focusing on others is also key – there are two views, yours and the other person and it is important to see how the other person feels.

Reply
- Dia
  February 21, 2011 at 4:53 pm
  
  Hi Juanita,
  
  Exactly timing plays a very crucial part in successful communication. If we express what we want to say at the wrong time, especially if someone is under stress, then this person might not react and appreciate what we want to say as when he is calm. Therefore, timing really is important. Thanks and glad you liked it Juanita
  
  Reply
Evelyn Lim
February 21, 2011 at 8:05 pm

It’s something that I needed to learn for a very long time: expressing myself. I was never encouraged to nor knew how to. However, when I got married, I realized how important it was to let the other party know my true feelings. It took a while for me to open up. But I’m glad that I did. I have never felt more emotionally free! Your #2, 3 and 5 tips are very important ones for me!

Reply
- Dandy
  February 22, 2011 at 9:34 am
  
  Hi Evelyn,
  I too struggled with this. There was a time I didn’t know where to begin when it came to expressing myself. I wish I had Dia’s practical tips back then. Thanks for your lovely comment Evelyn!
  
  Reply
- Dia
  February 22, 2011 at 2:12 pm
  
  Hi Evelyn,
  
  Exactly letting the other person know how we feel is crucial in relationships. Glad that everything is working well for you
  
  Reply
Jk Allen
February 21, 2011 at 8:35 pm

Dia – you’re a busy man. You’ve put out a lot of guess post this year…and every one of them has been stellar; this one following suit. Expressing ourself is a part of our human nature…even if we try to hide it, it’s within us wanting to come out. Each of the tips you shared seems so practical and powerful. Thank you so much for sharing!

Hi Miss Dandy! I hope your week has started off well. Thank you for hosting this great article from Dia – it was great!
(and thanks for adding me to your Blogroll!)

Reply
- Dandy
  February 22, 2011 at 9:27 am
  
  Hi Jk, I’m happy to have you on my blogroll. I’m glad you liked Dia’s post!
  
  Reply
- Dia
  February 22, 2011 at 2:13 pm
  
  Hi JK,
  
  Thanks my friend, glad you enjoyed it
  
  Reply
Rand
February 21, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Hello Dia!

Thank you for these guiding suggestions.

I just finished being a video tech in a meeting room for an Orthopaedic Convention here in my home city of San Diego. Four days in rapid succession I needed to communicate with doctors from all over the world. When I received a thumb drive with only moments before a particular doctors Power Point presentation calm communication was crucial. One needs to quickly read and understand the person and situation at the moment.

This is something I have been doing all my adult life in two different professions…up front and very personal for so many years…in so many homes…so many venues…so many different people from the famous to the down and out.

I also learned the subtle behavioral signs to look for with my schizophrenic brother, so that I could communicate, help, and control the situation. This I did for 50 some years.

But now there is something more contemporary here I find myself learning to adapt and question regards communication and perception.

I wonder if all of the Bloggers and Commenters did not have a picture of themselves to display, and all met in one room together…would we be able to pick one from the other?

I may be off mark…there are so many things to trust in that do not take in account of actual sight, body language, speech inflections, body perspiration, behavior, general apperance, etc.

Here are my impressions of these following Bloggers:

Tess: Bold Builder__Experience__Commitment__Love__Forgiving

Sibyl: Brightness__Possitive Influence__Clarity

Gail: Wisdom__Decisive__Perplexing__Passion

Lance: Earthiness__Humor__Expanding

Farnoosh: Exuberance__Future__Youthful__Intelligent

Johnathan: Freshness__Funny__Alternate Thinking__Future

Joy: Spiritual Moon__Creative Glitter__Huge Heart__Thankful

Dia: Kind__Thoughtful__Positive__Calm

Dandy: Delving__Wholesome__Nurturing__Awareness

Rand?

What?

Me worry?

Reply
- Dandy
  February 22, 2011 at 9:26 am
  
  This is awesome Rand! I love it! Here’s one for you…
  Rand: inquisitive_ knowledgeable_ insightful_seeker
  Thanks for all the great comments Rand! If I could give out a best blog commenter award, you’d get it!
  
  Reply
- Dia
  February 22, 2011 at 2:15 pm
  
  Hi Rand,
  
  There are many ways to express one’s self. Through video, email, letter, etc… But face to face, in my opinion is the best way as we can see how the other person is behaving. Thanks Rand
  
  Reply
jonathanfigaro
February 21, 2011 at 10:55 pm

Great post Dia. You just keep popping up every where like pimples..haha. Great work.

Reply
- Dandy
  February 22, 2011 at 9:18 am
  
  Ok boys, play nice now:)
  
  Reply
- Dia
  February 22, 2011 at 2:15 pm
  
  Thanks Jonathan, glad you liked it
  
  Reply
Stuart
February 22, 2011 at 2:53 am

Wow Dia, if there’s one thing I can say about your writing is that it doesn’t hang around. It’s straight-forward, to the point, and doesn’t offer any useless gabble. I like your style dude

Reply
- Dia
  February 22, 2011 at 2:16 pm
  
  Thanks Stuart, I like to keep it simple and to the point Glad you liked it my friend
  
  Reply
Alex Blackwell | The BridgeMaker
February 22, 2011 at 7:40 am

Hi Dandy – wonderful conversation.

I express myself to others by my actions and words – I do what I say and I say what I mean.

Alex

Reply
- Dandy
  February 22, 2011 at 9:20 am
  
  Hi Alex,
  Yes, Dia is doing a wonderful job. You are right though! Doing whay you say and saying what you mean is a great form of communication. I believe there should be transparency in communication. No subterfuge or duplicity. Laying it all out on the table that way no one has to be left wondering what is going on. Thanks Alex!
  
  Reply
- Dia
  February 22, 2011 at 2:17 pm
  
  Hi Alex,
  
  Expressing through action and words are crucial my friend. Glad you liked it
  
  Reply
rob white
February 22, 2011 at 8:36 am

Hi Dia & Dandy,
Great pragmatic tips as usual. Your tips help to strip off those false coverings that keep us hidden. Most people spend all their time hiding themselves – expressing ourselves is all about revealing our Authentic-Self.

Reply
- Dia
  February 25, 2011 at 6:31 pm
  
  Hi Rob,
  
  Exactly my friend is all about revealing our “authentic-self” and really show people who we really are and what we want. Thanks Rob
  
  Reply
Galen Pearl
February 23, 2011 at 9:57 am

“When you want to express yourself, you should show affection.” That is a pearl of great wisdom! I don’t do this enough. I think the power of my logic or honesty will make me heard. But when I read this, I immediately saw the wisdom and truth of it. I’m going to put this into practice today. Thank you so much.

Reply
- Dia
  February 23, 2011 at 4:52 pm
  
  Hi Galen pearl,
  
  Exactly, showing affection is crucial in expressing ourselves, so others can appreciate what we have to say more and be willing to listen to us. Thanks Galen pearl and glad you liked it
  
  Reply
ayo
February 26, 2011 at 2:52 am

hello dia/dandy
how are you?
thanks for sharing this and it’s important we use simple language very easy to understand because it enhances communication. If i may suggest that we are also careful with the type or choice of words and our tone of voice when having a conversation.
timing is also important. you dont want to start talking about a sports game when your partner is clearly upset or tired and as for body language i am an advocate for expressing oneself through touch, actions, mannerisms, gesticulations because at times they convey deeper meanings than words or sentences during a conversation.
take care and enjoy the rest of the day

Reply
- Dia
  February 27, 2011 at 12:41 pm
  
  Hi Ayo,
  
  Exactly my friend, we have got to choose the righ time and be careful of the type of words we use and how we convey the information. Body language plays a crucial part in expressing one’s self to others. Thanks Ayo
  
  Reply
Hector Avellaneda
February 27, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Dia – what’s going my friend! Awesome post!

I think this is definitely one of the most important subject in entrepreneurship that is not given as much attention as it should. Thanks for writing this post.

Being able to express yourself, especially as an entrepreneur or speaker, to deliver a message that will resonate with audiences of all types is one of the best skills anybody can have. It’s what can make or break you.

Not only in entrepreneurship is this skill useful but also as human being. You cant be all business all the time and when you have to be just a normal persona and interact with people you have to know how to being able to express yourself and be genuine in doing so.

Reply
- Dia
  February 28, 2011 at 5:27 pm
  
  Hi Hector,
  
  Yep, expressing yourself in important not only for entrepreneurs, but for everyone. It is the ability to communicate to others the exact message that we want to give them. Thanks Hector
  
  Reply
Debbie @ Happy Maker
March 2, 2011 at 11:39 am

This one makes me smile Dia and Dandy. I come from a family that does not know how to express themselves. And then there is me that is a hugger. I taught my mother how to express herself with my hugges. Yes, she would pull away at first, then she decided she liked that. They never said “I Love You” either. I just kept doing my thing and they finally got it and started showing the emotions. I’m going to go all the way here, since it something that I have been wanting to do but didn’t know how you would all take it.
After finding your group of friends on the internet I like what you say to one another and it is great ! i just want to thank you all for being beautiful people and you make everyone feel welcome. Hugges to you all and thanks again.
Love ya all and you make me smile
Debbie

Reply
- Dandy
  March 2, 2011 at 7:52 pm
  
  Hi Debbie!
  That is so sweet you’ve made my day! I love all my blogging friends. I had no idea when I started blogging last Sept. that I would find myself part of such smart, fabulous, gifted, kind, and loving people. It’s really brightened my life conciderably. I’m so glad you’ve had the same experiences! Thanks for the great comment, Debbie!
  
  Love you too!
  
  Reply
Riley Harrison
March 27, 2011 at 6:21 am

It’s interesting to note that body language (including facial expressions, vocal intonations etc.) is thought to be dominant force in communications. I think that one of the challenges of communicating via emails, blogs etc. – no opportunity to read interpret body language and thus the chance of misunderstanding is much greater.
Riley

Reply